When you said your wedding vows the thought of getting a divorce was a very distant, if not, an unlikely thought. Within any relationship, things happen, people grow apart, or other things drive you to consider ending the marriage. Before you start divorce proceedings, take time to reflect on your motives for wanting a divorce and what terms you may need to be addressed to consider staying in the marriage. The family law attorneys at Wilson Brown Law recommend asking yourself these questions to figure out if moving forward with a divorce is the right decision for your family.
1. What is making me want to end the marriage?
You may be unhappy, but it is important to dig deeper and identify why you may be feeling this way. Often times, couples naturally go through periods of feeling isolated, unhappy, ignored, etc. These are normal feelings within a relationship and they do not all mean that you should consider a divorce. Your feelings are valid and should be explored. Find ways to share how you are feeling with your spouse and see if there are ways that you and your spouse can address them to repair your marriage. In some cases, the feelings of unhappiness are harder to overcome and a divorce may be best, but for your marriage’s sake, it is important to try to resolve your feelings.
2. Have we tried to get marriage counseling?
Choosing to get a divorce should be a final option, after you have exhausted all other efforts to improve your marriage. If you have not tried marriage counseling, then this may be the best place to start to see if you can get sound recommendations of how to make your marriage better. Marriage counseling can be a safe and productive place for you and your spouse to share how you feel and what issues may be driving a wedge between you. It can also be a good idea to have a personal therapist for you to talk through your thoughts and feelings, without having to share them with your spouse. This is meant to be a time of reflection and healing in an effort to be able to revive your feelings for one another and work through differences that may be causing issues within your marriage.
3. Am I under stress?
It is okay to take time for yourself. If you are in a very stressful situation, this may be contributing to how you feel. Whether it is financial stress, a recent death in the family, unemployment, etc. these can be very high stress situations for even the most loving couples. If you are under extreme stress, try to find an outlet for your stress. Consider working out, meeting with friends, talking to a therapist, creating a journal – anything that you can do to help relieve some of the stress you may be experiencing. Making a rash decision during times when you are under duress can be more destructive than good. You may want a divorce now, during this high stress time, but as things calm down, your decision may change. Give yourself time to make the best decision for your family.
If you’re going through a difficult time with your spouse and are contemplating a divorce, meeting with a trusted family law attorney can give you insight into possible options. If you’d like to speak with a seasoned and friendly divorce attorney, then give Wilson Brown Law a call at 210-787-4637 to schedule a complimentary consultation.