You’ve made the decision to get a divorce, now what? Dividing marital assets and debt can be a very contiguous time. You may have requests related to alimony or child support payments, and your spouse may have a different perspective. If you find yourself in this situation, here are three ways you can try to work together to resolve the issues and move forward with your divorce agreements.

1. Hire a mediator. When it comes to some issues, you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse may not see eye to eye. So, coming up with an agreement that you both are okay with may be impossible. Hiring a mediator may help you see things differently and come up with terms that, although not ideal, can be acceptable for both parties involved. Depending on your state, some may require mediation as a pre-court proceeding. In other cases, it may not be provided. In general, it is always better to come to an agreement with each other, than to have a third party (i.e. judge) impose a decision on you and your spouse.

2. Look at the big picture. Getting a divorce is a very emotional time. You may have unresolved grievances against your spouse and may have very real feelings of bitterness, anger, and sadness. Try to separate what you may be feeling from what you demand during the divorce settlement. Arguing over small items, just for the sake, of “making your spouse pay” can quickly balloon a straight forward divorce proceeding into a million dollar legal battle. Keep in mind that the divorce agreement is not meant to financially devastate you or your ex-spouse, but meant to be a fair guideline of how things will be handled going forward. If you cannot come to an agreement, it is important to remember that a judge will just assign a monetary value to objects and treat them as such. In this sense, your property will be divided according to divorce law, with very little input from either side considered.

3. Understand how the courts work. Having a better insight into how assets are handled during a divorce case can be helpful to appropriately frame your expectations. Asking for outrageous amounts of money or demanding large portions of shared assets may seem reasonable to you, but the courts will likely have a very different take on what you are entitled to. Seek to understand how a judge may divide assets and use that as a benchmark to craft your requests.

A divorce is an emotional time, as it is, and to have to fight over how assets are divided can just add more stress to an already stressful time. Find ways to adjust your demands accordingly and work with your ex-spouse to come to an agreement that is fair for all parties. If you would like assistance drafting a divorce agreement, contact the experienced family law attorneys at Wilson Brown Law for a free uncontested divorce consultation at 210-787-4637.